Date: Sept. 14, 2002 Time: 2:19 AM My current mood is: Closure on the topic of my ass Today I finally had the colonoscopy(butt probe). This is in reference to this entry, about shitting blood. It's a fine read. Anyway, I went to the hospital, mind you it's a big hospital and has different buildings. The person at the desk said I was at the wrong building, to go to the one next to it. So I went there, only to have everyone I asked give me a perplexed look, "Gastrology?" the nurse said slowely, as if she'd never heard the word before(perhaps she hadn't?). No one seemed to know if the hospital even had a department for that type of thing. So after about 15 minutes of asking people, having people look up in a book to see if there was a Gastrology dept., finally they figured out that yes, there is. Sheesh. I went in, they had me put on a girny/hospital gown, with a nice pair of grey socks(why can't I wear my own?) and a bathrobe. I was SO FREEZING, the nurse felt bad and gave me 2 blankets to put on. It pissed me off that my blood pressure is 102/64, that means I'm not thin enough. She stuck an IV into my hand, which hurt because I have rolling veins. When I went into the room I got really scared, they had me lie down on this hospital bed in the middle of the room, and immediatly started attaching things to me, put a weird thing on my finger, and stuck an oxygen thing into my nose. I was freaking...until they put the cool stuff in my IV, then everything got woozy and suddenly I woke up in a new bed thinking "how did I get here?". So it wasn't bad, I slept through it. The diagnosis: internal hemorrhoids. Ick. But I said I don't even feel anything and doesn't bother me at all, so they said don't worry about it and sent me on my merry way. The preparation for it sucked. I had to fast and drink this god awful perscribed lax stuff, it tasted so gross I couldn't even finish it all. I thought I might kinda enjoy the fast, going back to my days of starvation, but I wanted to binge/purge SO BAD!! So after I got home today I ate and threw up 4 times, I was going to purge a 5th time but I'm just too goddamn lazy too. Plus I kinda started to try to but my throat kind of hurts. Eh, fuck it. Tomorrow starts the REAL day of my diet, as opposed to every other time I say that then end up being to lazy to do anything. My Xenadrine pills came finally, next time I'm going to buy them at Walmart, I heard they're cheap there! As far as puking goes, I really need to cut down, I mean I can't even feel the hemrrhoids but it's proof that I'm fucking up my digestive tract, I've never had problems like that till I started starving/puking. And anyone else who does that, you know what I'm talking about! You people who eat normal... give yourself a pat on the back. At least YOU can go to the bathroom normally, unlike us ED'd people! So I'm going to try to have more fiber, and keep more food down, but obviously not enough to gain or even maintain. The thing is, I'm not sure if I should start taking fiber suppliments right away or if I should wait, since even keeping down 500 calories worth of food may be a huge jump in fiber(not used to keeping that much down). If I can even just keep my purging down to once a day, and keep some other food down, it will be much better for me. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: