Date: Jul. 10, 2002 Time: 9:36 PM My current mood is: A little gross, talking about crapping blood For the 4 hours I was awake today, today sucked. I mean REALLY sucked. Last night I binged/purged till 7am, I woke up at 2pm and binged again. I tried to throw up but IT DIDN'T FUCKING WORK! I was so pissed off, I did get a little out but damn, normally I get all of it out! I think I maybe got 1/4 of it out, if that. I know you're thinking "So? Get over it!" but HEY, I'm not done with the story, so settle down. So anyway, I was like fuck it, I have to go to work now I just won't eat for the rest of the day. Well, my body doesn't like the idea of digesting food. When I keep meals/binges down, a lot of the time...ok this may sound gross, but I don't need to take laxatives like some people do, when I eat meals my body just naturally acts like I have taken them. Is this a bad thing? Maybe. So this happened big time today, major stomach problems, I felt like I was peeing out my butt all day. I know that's a wonderful thing to picture. The scary part: halfway through my many trips to the bathroom, I started shitting blood. I do not know what that means. And I don't mean I saw a drop and got all freaked. I mean...as if I got my period, that's how much. I'm still going blood. Infact I think that's mostly what's coming out, I'm not even crapping. *sigh* So anyway, back to being at work. I really tried to stick it through. I call in sick so much I hate it, I would say I do like once a month. To me that's an insane amount. I can't help it though, I just get sick a lot lately. I was at the register, and got I was feeling SO HOT. Which is odd, since I'm always freezing at work, I'm never hot. I felt like I was going to pass out or throw up, and it was hard for me to breath, it felt like I had a piece of lead in my chest, kind of hurt. Sheryl said my eyes kept almost closing, I didn't even realize they were. I struggled for 2 hours and eventually had to go home, I just felt absolutly horrible. One thing that I know didn't help, is that I was SO dehydrated but I just couldn't/wouldn't drink water. So I went home and fell asleep for 4 hours, and now here I am. My stomach still feels awful. See, this is what happens when I eat! Grrrr. I thought about going to the docter about the blood but ya right, that's not going to happen. If it's still happening tomorrow maybe I will. I don't know. I'm just blowing things out of proportion probably, I bet if I went a docter would say I'm fine. Who knows, maybe Katie's idea that I will die or something in a month will come true. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: