Date: Sept. 20, 2004 Time: 11:25 PM My current mood is: Drowning in a freezing sea More bleakness, misery. I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest and squeezed till blood spirts from it. I feel like someone shot me in the chest and there is now a huge gaping wound. I was wondering, when does one stop going to therapy? I made a post on TF about this. Do you go till you're all better, able to handle everything, essentially "Fine"? Or do you stop when there's nothing else that can be done, may as well just stop. And if it's that, how do you know if you can't be fixed any further? I guess I'm wondering this because I"ve been going for years now. And I'm not "all better". I'm not healthy and happy and great. I still have issues. There are still things wrong. And I'm not sure those things can ever be right. So I wonder, after you've said all there is to say, is that it? I've talked about my past, about my present, about EVERYTHING. I've said it all. And I'm STILL messed up. So now what? Do I just continue talking about my problems? Over and over? Does it reach a point where there is no point in talking anymore, where I just stop and realize there isn't anything else that can be done? I don't know the answers to these questions. Today I managed to make it till 4:30pm without consuming any calories. Then I ate whatever. But still, I consider that a minor victory. I could wait. I feel like I am reaching out, reaching for anybody, everybody...but only internally. There is no way I could ever verbally say what I need. So I remain my same aloof yet pleasent self. I do not ask for things. I do not express need. Sometimes I feel like I'm suffocating in myself. Drowning in a sea of freezing waters. A warm body does not make the freezing sea warmer, the coldness only makes the warmth colder. That probably doesn't make sense but whatever. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: