Date: Jan. 23, 2004 Time: 5:26 PM My current mood is: Knocked on my ass, again My skin's all itchy cause I changed body washes, hopefully it will go away... Last night and today I purged. Not sure what came over me. I mean I haven't in a month, and I've been so distraught over my weight, I guess I snapped under the pressure. I weighed myself today, and I actually only weigh 110lbs, I was convinced I weighed more then that. Odd huh? I took out my Nuvaring, cause I can not STAND having extra fat on my body from it, plus it would be nice for my boobs NOT to hurt! Also they were still growing, I'm up to a full D now! Sheesh. Enough of that. I'll take my old boobs back thank you. But back to the purging, I just flipped out inside and decided I need to be 100lbs. That's not that bad. I don't even need to be as low as I used to. 100 is just a tad underweight(BMI-18.3), but not anorexic weight. Unfortunatly now I feel all groggy and exhausted from purging. Even though I only did it twice, I feel like my body's in slow motion, like I can't move. I just layed in bed for hours, not doing anything I was going to do today. Purging is lame, I need to realize that's not the way to go. Why lay in bed all day devoid of life, clutching my stomach in pain?? Yet I have a feeling that isn't the last time I'll do it. I was supposed to go to Hilary's to pick up the tv she's giving me, but didn't do that...I'll make up some story to her and go later. And I didn't exercise today either, damnit!! Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: