Date: Nov. 12, 2003 Time: 12:55 AM My current mood is: Flashback to Donna I just ate and puked. I know I shouldn't have, I meant to come here first and discuss my "feelings" first, but the urge overtook, and it felt like my only option. What happened was that my dad and I started talking about Donna, my dad's ex-fiance. And...he kept sticking up for her. They broke up a year ago, yet he still sticks up for her. I was saying how she made it clear she didn't like my sister and I, yet he kept taking her side, saying "She never said anything bad about you, I don't think she disliked you", COME ON! She couldn't stand us!! She wanted nothing to do with us. Yet he kept protecting her still. To anyone who remembers the whole Donna thing, you know what I'm saying. It just brought me back to that time, that time when instead of dealing with what was going on (Donna trying to take over everything I knew, and discard me and my sister), was to eat and puke, and barely keep anything down. God the puking, all the time. It was everything, it filled up my day. Filled it so I didn't have to face how awful I felt inside, because my insides went spiraling down the toilet, leaving me numb and empty, only to have the feelings grow inside again shortly after, needing to be dumped out. So much that I got to my lowest weight at that time, people's eyes widening and becoming disturbed when they saw me uncovered. Barely able to function, spending most my time either b/p'ing or laying in bed, to weak to do much anything else. At the time I really didn't connect it to the whole Donna thing, but now I see it was obviously connected. My dad not even..not even caring that Donna the Mental Case detested us, putting her infront of us, going along with whatever she demanded. So when we had that conversation, all I knew to do was to grab food and do my thing. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: