Date: Oct. 30, 2003 Time: 12:55 AM My current mood is: Got the internet back Aaah finally we have internet connection back. I don't know what happened but it went out, but changed wires so now somehow I have access on this computer again, my dad's still doesn't (haha!). I should go to bed but I'm not tired. Ok first off, midterm news...On my Wealth and Poverty class I got B, and my Ethics class I got 100!!! Yes I actually got a 100, woohoo! I'm doing so well in school so far, I cannot believe the different between this semester and the one that I dropped out last year. So far nothing lower then a B, though I would like to be getting more A's then B's. A few days ago my dad triggered me food-wise a lot. I mean it happened awhile ago already so I don't care anymore, but basiclly Jon was over, and my dad came to my door holding the mostly eaten box of candy (we have 2 boxes, the other unopened), and blamed me for eating it all. I was so embarrised and ashamed. He always blames me for eating stuff! Why *blame* people for eating? And why that I ate it *all*? My boyfriend told me to ignore him, and said that his father would have just not said anything, even if all the candy got eaten he would have just bought more and not yelled at anyone. I got all depressed and felt horrible, I really wanted to lose weight. But I'm feeling better about it now, so whatever. I felt guilty yesterday. I was at my self defense course at school, and this guy was in class that apparently normally goes to the other class time. I was talking to him, he's the exboyfriend of this girl I kind of new, so I've met him a couple times before. Anyway, at the end of class we were talking and walking out together. I just felt weird...cause...he's hot. Tall, 50's greaser hair, lots of tattoo's. I imagined if I had stayed and talked longer with him (instead of darting away to my car), perhaps he would have hit on me. So I felt guilty thinking about him, I'm going out with Jon!! Is it ok to think about other guys sometimes? I started questioning how well I'd maintain my commitedness. What if this just shows that I'll end up cheating on Jon? I've cheated on almost every boyfriend I've ever had. Uff I'm just so paranoid, I don't trust myself! Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: