Date: Sept. 20, 2003
Time: 2:03 AM
My current mood is:
Uncomfortable silence
Today my cousin from Spain came in. He's staying at my grandmother's, so we went over there. I felt bad cause I didn't know what I was going to say about be eating my grandmother's food...I didn't tell anyone in my family yet that I'm vegetarian(no they haven't noticed). So I said I didn't want chicken, and everyone yelled at me. I managed to say "I don't feel it is appropriate to discuss this right now", and it was dropped, but not before compairing me to my other crazy aunt (not the one I talk about in this diary. Yes I have 2 crazy aunts). Why does my family always have to be like that? Why can't they respect my decision and just ask politly about it, instead of yelling at me and trying to belittle me? Then later on, I don't know how it got brought up, but they were saying how it was good my sister didn't look like my father, and everyone was having a good laugh about it. Then I piped up "but people say I look like him"...... and everyone got silent. Then my sister said quietly "sucks to be you". :( Basiclly they all think I'm UGLY. Whatever. We took my cousin shopping and it was really boring. Oh and my grandmother yelled at me for being too thin again, I hate when she does that, it's so embarrising.The other day I looked in the mirror and realized I'm horribly fat and gross. My stomach is all fucked up again. I think it's a mixture of running out of my stomach medication, and purging a few times over the past few days. I hate having stomach aches, I wish I could digest food normally :( But I got my refill and am taking my pills, hopefully it will get better. This is my last perscription though...going to have to make another docters appt.
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