Date: Aug. 15, 2003 Time: 2:49 AM My current mood is: A tiff, some bitching about my weight again. I look like a giant hippo. You know it's not fair that I shouldn't lose weight just cause everyone in America has warped standards on weight. Like if you're a healthy normal weight, you're the thinnest person around, so being more on the thin side is like a huge freakin deal. I want to be 95lbs again, I think I look FINE at that weight, but of course everyone will annoy the shit out of me if I do. Ever since my aunt told me that I'm too thin, I feel so self concious! I'm not even underweight yet, well almost. Actually I haven't even weighed myself in awhile, but I'm probably still 103lbs. I just don't get how she can say I'm too thin at 103, yet when I was 95lbs she said I looked great! The only time she said I looked too thin was when I was less then 95lbs, and my BMI was in the 16's. Ok I will STOP bitching about this! It just annoys me when people draw attention to my weight. The other day Jon had a talk with me saying he just wanted me to know that he's noticed I lost weight, and that he's here for me if I want to talk. I felt kinda pissed but I don't know why. I don't want to upset anyone, and I would never get skeletal cause i know that would hurt my family. So I'm kinda slowing my weightloss for the time being, just so there's no fuss. Tonight Jon and I had a bit of a tiff. We never really have serious fights, whenever we "fight" I'm usually trying to keep myself from laughing during it ;) He was just being a total brat cause he wanted to sleep over and I said no. I do feel bad cause we never spend the night together anymore, but it's harder to now since my dad has no work for the summer, plus Jon and I hang out every day so I need time to myself. We made up though. Oh I don't even think I mentioned, Jon's moving to my town! Right in the center of town, that's kinda cool, I can even just walk to his house. It's a house that gets rented, there are 2 guys already living there. It smells musty, but that's ok. I feel bad cause I care about him, but he wants to hang out constantly, I need space! Part of it is I don't have a job and I'm only taking one class, so I don't really do all that much except hang out with him. If I had something else to occupy my time I'd feel less irritated. I went down to my college today to register for this fall...couldn't pick out my classes yet though. I hope they hurry with things, I don't want to end up having to miss the fall semester! I feel weird. I've felt weird for awhile. Eh, I dunno, just kind of numb inside. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: