Date: Jul. 20, 2003 Time: 12:55 PM My current mood is: Medication is evil! I wish my dad wouldn't stress me out. We were just having a conversation about school and medication. He was saying that since I'm going back to school, I need to be on something. I tried to tell him that nothing works but he's like "No I saw these 2 new things, you didn't even try them". I DON'T WANT MEDICATION. It doesn't fucking work. I've been on about 11 different kinds. He told me I'm "in denial" because I don't want to go on meds. How is that denial? I'm not saying I don't have a problem, I'm saying nothing works, and I hate the side effects they give me. I wish he would just leave it alone already. He doesn't know what it's like. Yesterday I had a short talk with my sister to patch things up. I told her how I don't talk to her because she's always so mean and hostile, she didn't seem know she was though. I told her about how I was pissed that she tried to get me in trouble by saying I was having Jon sleep over, but she said that she never said that at all. My dad lied about it then. I'm not surprised. Last night Jon and I went to the sex store(again)! Fun ;) I feel bad cause there's something I wanted to mention, it's a negative thing, but I feel bad cause I have so much fun with Jon, I don't want to be complaining about dumb stuff. The other day we went to Papa Gino's, and I saw this salad that looked really good and fattening. My mind allowed me to have it, even though I"ve been restricting lately. So I said I wanted it, but Jon kept trying to talk me out of it. It bothered me, cause it was something I felt I was able to eat despite the calories, yet he kept telling me not to :( "The chicken salad is healthier" he told me. So I didn't get it. I got something healthier instead. On a better note, last night he kept saying over and over how sexy and beautiful I am :) He was saying I could be in Playboy lol! I don't know about that. I'd need to lose weight first. Yesterday I purged 4 times. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: