Date: Jul. 01, 2003 Time: 8:25 PM My current mood is: Getting dark Nothingness. I can't imagine doing anything productive right now. I had my last Substance Abuse class tonight, I didn't go. My final paper was due today, I didn't do it. What I did do though, was cut myself with scissors and a safety pin. And ate some and puked. I know Jon will flip at me about cutting myself, but I just...apathy took over, I just didn't care. I had to let the sadness out somehow. It wasn't nearly enough either. I made cuts on one side of my arm. Back in the day I'd do both arms, or do front and back of both arms. What am I supposed to do? I can't get out, I'm trapped in a marshmellow-like sadness, weighing me down unable to do anything. Tomorrow I have work. I just want to quit. Say forget the whole thing. Suddenly everything's too much for me, the age old feeling I haven't felt in quite some time. I hate this. Last night I was typing things like "I want to die" into the search engine just to see what would come up. The future suddenly seems bleak. I will never be able to do anything, be anyone. It's getting dark out. Another day gone by. I pray for someone to shoot me in the head. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: