Date: Jun. 01, 2003 Time: 9:31 PM My current mood is: Entry 2: Pissed off at my sister I'm in such a bad mood >:( Earlier my sister was telling me what she wanted me to get for food shopping, and she was being a total bitch. She started bitching that I eat everything, saying I ate 2 bags of Smartfood and she didnt' get to eat any of it. That pissed me off because A)there is still some left in the draw, and B)I did eat most of it, and it greatly embarrised me that she said that. I started to respond and she totally started talking right over me, ignoring me, so I called her on it, and she said it was cause what I was saying was stupid. Grrrr. So I told her she was a huge bitch, and that when she gets older she's going to be just like my grandfather, always yelling at everyone. Then she did something unexpected...she said fine then stay away from me, with a hurt look on her face and stormed out of the room, and I responded "I already do!". I felt horribly guilty, but at the same time felt like she deserved it. Whenever she's a bitch to me, it always ends with her just yelling at me, and me just saying whatever and giving her the silent treatment, resenting her inside. As you can see, me saying she's like my grandfather is hurtful, so you can imagine he's not exactly Mr.Rogers. Anyway, after she left, I just really felt like puking. I didn't, but I really felt like I needed to, to get the bad feelings out. So I went food shopping and was pissed off inside. I made sure everything I bought for her was really high in fat and calories, childish I know, but lately I keep doing that, I want my family to eat as much fattening food as possible, and especially now cause I'm pissed at her. I guess to make up for the fact that I'm eating normal now...if I have to gain weight, so will they *evil laugh* Yeah I know that's bad, and I do feel guilty, but fuck them, my sister has always been the thin one, she's naturally a size zero for fucks sake! Don't you just hate her for that? While I shopped, I got to thinking how it's totally unfair how everything for my sister is perfect, and I always get the shitty end of the stick. Yes I know I shouldn't think that way, but it's true. I got all the shitty DNA, kind of like the movie Twins...if anyone's actually ever seen that movie lol. I mean I got the eating disorder (well she claims to have been anorexic in middle school, but obviously it wasn't that bad), the depression, learning problems, the awful skin (I need to use different creams/scrubs/etc. to make it presentable), the fat genes, had to drop out of school twice as well as shitty grades, I could go on and on. Meanwhile she looks like Barbie while eating whatever she wants, no mental problems (except for being a bitch), always had lots of friends, perfect skin, good grades in school...UFFF! I know this sounds extremely petty, but whatever, I'm in a bad mood. I still wish she was nicer, I miss talking to her, whenever I do now she's just always sarcastic and bitchy to me, and makes it pretty clear that she's too good to talk to me :( Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: