Date: May. 29, 2003 Time: 12:27 AM My current mood is: Dazed and confused I started my Strattera medication today. So far all it's done is make me feel like shit, I felt so exhausted, shaky and weak all day, my mind feels all spaced out. Hopefully these side effects will go away, or else I'm going to be REALLY annoyed! Regardless, Jon and I went to his place, then went to Walmart to pick up my glasses. I was a bit dissapointed when I got them, they look even thicker now then before : Yeah I felt like a huge nerd, and I imagined that pretty soon I'm going to be wearing bifocals lol. I'm pissed cause tomorrow is my meeting with the personal trainer at the gym. The reason I'm mad is cause I know he's going to weigh me, but I haven't been able to go to the bathroom lately! Grrr. So the scale is going to read higher then normal. I recently upped the amount of fiber I eat, and I guess my body just isn't ready to handle that yet. I was going to take lax but Jon slept over and was with me all day, so I didn't have time to, and now it's too late. This totally pisses me off. Stupid digestive system! So I'm eating grapes and drinking water, somehow hoping this combination will do something. Today Jon and I had sex and...didn't go so well. He kept saying it was his fault, if only he did this, etc. etc. I tried to tell him that saying it was his fault only made me feel worse, but he didn't get it. It makes me feel even worse cause I know it's NOT his fault, so by him saying that it makes me know it's really my fault :( I'd rather just not think about it at all, but he just always makes a huge deal about it when these things happen, it just makes me feel worse. Whether it's still from the birth control patch or it's just my mind being weird, I don't know, I just know that it's my fault not his. I just wish he would not say anything. I feel like such a fuckup. I should just not be with anyone ever again so I as well as anyone else doesn't have to deal with my sex problems. Sex is making me feel pretty anxious and stressed lately, I wish I could just not have it at all just so I wouldn't have to deal with it, but I really don't think Jon would appreciate that! I just wish I could go back to how it was years ago when I had absolutly no problems having sex, everything was totally fine, end of story. Now I'm just so stressed out about it, due to all those damn medications that took my sex drive/abilities, as well as starvation taking it, I'm just....ufff. I'm too stressed about it to enjoy it. Oh fucking weirdest thing ever! Last night I woke up to this odd sound. I couldn't figure out what it was, it was this screetchy scraping sound. I look over and it's Jon grinding his teeth!! I was so freaked out, cause he was doing it SO LOUD! I immediatly woke him up and told him, he seriousy needs to get a mouth guard or something, he's totally going to ruin his jaw and teeth! God he worries me! Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: