Date: May. 26, 2003 Time: 5:13 PM My current mood is: "There's a little black spot on the sun today" Today was pretty crappy out, as it's been for a few days now. It's odd how grey rainy days just kill my mood and zap my energy. Even without looking out the window, I'll feel like this, my body/mind will somehow just know the weather. So I haven't been doing anything too productive, just sitting around and thinking. Jon slept over last night. This morning he wanted to have sex but I didn't, he kept bugging me about it though and taking my clothes off. It pissed me off and made me feel cold and defensive. It bugs me when he does that, he's just so sexual and when I tell him I don't to he'll just keep taking my clothes off, and when I tell him to quit it he keeps doing it, and complaining that I could at least show him my boobs. Usually I'll say fine but today it was just too overwhelming. He's a great guy and he's wonderful to me, I just hate when he does that. Part of the problem I acknowledge, is the fact that I don't get across my feelings well enough. I did tell him today, after much prodding on his part to tell him what was wrong. He apologized, but who knows. I'm still upset about my medical insurence. I can't believe they just decided NOW that they won't cover any of the physical therapy I've had, after I've already HAD IT!! They want me to pay them thousands of dollars back! How can they do this to me??? I just want to be able to use my arm, why won't they let me? It's not fair. I was doing so well in physical therapy, and suddenly my med. insurance says I didn't need it? Hello I could barely move my arm! It was so atrophied that I could barely even lift one pound! I couldn't even drive with both hands! And now it's so much better, I'm almost there, I've come so far with it....and now they cancel it! I just want a chance to be able to get my arm normal again. I know even with physical therapy it may not ever be normal again, but I've come so far I just want the chance, I know it can get better then this. And I Don't have the money to pay them, I don't know what I'm going to do :( How can they force me to pay back all the stuff that they willingly payed for?? Fucking pieces of shit!!! There's a little black spot on the sun today. It's the same old thing as yesterday. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: