Date: May. 23, 2003 Time: 12:43 AM My current mood is: All these scary people around me Today was a day of new things. I went to the gym(the one I just joined) for the first time. To most people, I'm pretty sure that's no big deal, but for me it was an anxious decision. I hate working out infront of people. I don't like being in a room filled with people I don't know, plus I just hate working out infront of others. I've always been extremely shy, it's gotten better with age but I still get very nervous in situations like this, new experiences coupled with lots of people I don't know, just kind of scary. But I went and worked out :) I used the women's only room, not cause I'm scared of guys or anything, but just cause it was smaller, more secluded, and there was only one other woman working out. Much easier to deal with then a big room with other people there. I'm a bit nervous cause on Thursday I meet with a trainer, he's going to do a "health assesment" on me, I guess going over what I eat, taking my blood pressure, etc. I'm NOT bringing up my eating issues. I just hope it doesn't trigger me at all, like if he says I need to lose weight or that I eat way too much or something! I also had my first class today for the summer session. I've officially started school again. The class was Excel, and it was really really boring. But I've been wanting to learn Excel, cause I mean it looks good on a resume so *shrug* whatever. I'm also taking Substance Abuse Counciling, I know that'll be much more interesting. As I was walking in I saw this guy I knew, I used to have radio with him last year. He's really cool, you know when I first met him I admit I was snotty about it, cause I thought he was retarded or something. Then I got to know him and I realized he just has a really bad studder, and maybe some learning problems. It's things like that which make you realize sometimes you're not as nice and open as you thought you were, and makes me glad that I learned something, that even though I consider myself to be a non-judgmental person, that I need to be better. So anyway, in the class I tried to pay attention but as always, my mind kept wandering and I kept missing things that were said. Damn my stupid mind! I have a psychiatrist appt. next week, I'm going to ask him if I can try some ADD medication. The thing is, he's decided that I don't have ADD(Attention Deficit Disorder), that it's really that my depression creates symptoms similar to it. Well whatever, I've been diagnosed with it before, so I can at least try some medication for it right? I mean what have I got to lose? It just really sucks to know I may get sexual side effects from whatever medication he decides to try me on, I WANT A NORMAL SEX LIFE FOR ONCE! I just went off the Patch which fucked up my sex life....maybe I will wait a few weeks before starting whichever medication he puts me on, so at least I can have a few weeks of normalcy in the bedroom :( Today was the day Julie had her baby!! I still haven't talked to her, I tried to call her but no answer....I can't wait to hear about it! She better call me tomorrow! Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: