Date: May. 10, 2003 Time: 3:53 AM My current mood is: My unshaven bikini line is soooooo sexy I'm bored. I probably should be sleeping but I don't feel like it. Today I went to the mall and bought a bunch of clothes that were on sale. You know, I realized today that my depression has lifted, I'm not even sure when it did, I just know that I'm doing ok right now. Mind you, when I say my depression has lifted, I don't mean that I'm perfectly happy, it's more like waves, the shoreline is always there, but sometimes it's high tide and sometimes low tide. Today I did pretty well with eating, didn't purge at all and ate normal :) I was looking at the college catalog, and was thinking of takeing 2 courses per summer semester, of which there is 2. So I'd be taking 4 courses this summer. That's almost a semester, so that would be making up a bit for the last semester that I dropped out. *sigh* I dunno, I'm so unsure about my future but you know what, I may as well have a degree, I mean it can only help right? I'm thinking still of going back on Zoloft, but I'm afraid about the sexual side effects it gives me. I've already had so many sex problems with Jon from being on The Patch, losing my sex drive from malnutrion, as well as this weird problem I had for awhile- from being on all thos different anti-depressents that made me lose my sex drive each time, not going to get into it but basicly the pills made me always feel so anxious about sex that I continued feeling anxious even off the pills made my sex life less then satisfactory. But I got over that issue. Ok enough about my sex issues, I'm sure people really want to know about that :P Lately when Jon and I look into each others eyes, it's....god this sounds SO cheesy, but there's such an incredible warmth, it's so loving. It's like, I can't even explain it. I look at him and I'm I swear I'm tempted to blurt out The Words. Yes, THOSE words, I can't even type them! But I don't think I love him yet, I mean I really don't think we've been going out long enough to be throwing around words that powerful yet. Still though, I feel like lately our "likablity/caring level" has moved up a knotch. How could it not? I mean, he told me that my unshaven bikini line turns him on! I try to wax/shave it usually but lately I've been lazy. Also he likes my leg hair(I don't shave my legs). Seriously isn't that like every girl's dream? I'm just growing so attached to him, I'm afraid he's going to leave me. He tells me all the time how crazy he is for me but I still can't help but feel like he's going to leave me and he doesn't "really" like me :P Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: