Date: Mar. 20, 2003 Time: 12:10 PM My current mood is: A feminist rant *Written last night but diaryland wouldn't let me in* I was just reading a book called The Frailty Myth. So far it's very good! It's making me so angry, it's about the myth that women are weaker then men, and all the rediculous ways people have contributed to it. Reading it makes me long for the days when I used to take martial arts. For when I used to do 25 pushups a day. It saddens me to think here I am, half-starved and weak, knowing that I have the ability to be very physically strong and able. It gave me pride when I lifted heavy objects, seeing guys jaw's drop cause they thought I was just some little weak girl. I've never fully taken advantage of my muscular abilities, I've always had that fear that I think all women do, the "I don't want to get huge muscles" fear. As much as I hate to admit it. I wonder what could have been had I been into sports when I was younger? Had I put all my efferts into a sport, what if I became some famous runner? Or some revolutionary female football player? I want to go to physical therapy and hopefully my arm will get better, I want to start working out and doing pushups. I want to be strong, I want to be able to kick the crap out of EVERYONE! I now shall eat a Lean Cuisine frozen dinner of macaroni and cheese. It's only 290 calories. I can do this. I can keep it down. As Abra Fortune Chernik, author of The Body Politic said: "Gaining weight and pulling my head out of the toilet was the most political act I have ever committed." How can I be strong when I make myself weak? How am I being true to my feminist beliefs by purposely keeping myself down, by filling stereotypes about women? Here is another quote, this time by Marya Hornbacher: "My terms amount to cultural heresy. I had to say: I will eat what I want and look as I please and laugh as loud as I like and use the wrong fork and lick my knife. I had to learn strange and delicious lessons, lessons too few women learn: to love the thump of my steps, the implication of weight and presence and taking of space, to love my body`s rebellious hungers, responses to touch, to understand myself as more than a brain attached to a bundle of bones. I have to ignore the cultural cacophony that sing-songs all day long. Too much, too much, too much." *Today's Entry* Ufff, I was going to go to an anti-war rally today, but I feel like shit. My throat kills, feels swollen, and I've been coughing, it's felt like this for the past few days. I'm not sure if I'm sick or if purging 4 times a day has just caught up with me. It sucks I really want to go to that protest, I think this war is dumb as shit. Blaaaaah I feel like crap. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: