Date: Feb. 09, 2003 Time: 11:15 PM My current mood is: Weekend Update: the truth about Jon I had a great weekend :) Once again Jon and I spent all weekend at a hotel. He came a day early so Thursday night he just slept over my house, my dad has work early in the morning so he didn't know Jon slept over. Hehe, my dad is so clueless, my sister's boyfriend has been living here for MONTHS yet my dad doesn't know! What an idiot. It was great though, we woke up to see the snow, and damn there was piles and piles of it, we got about 12 inches! It was so nice, I felt even closer to him this weekend, I'm really getting so attatched to him. He's sooooo incredibly good to me. Everyday that I see him he says "Have I told you yet today that you're beautiful?" *squeek* He's just so intelligent, analytical......ok I'll stop now :P Weird news: I found out the truth about Jon. The whole him not eating/feeling sick from nerves? Not true. I guess he has an eating disorder! So weird. I mean, he doesn't care about losing weight, and he doesn't have the obsessive mindset, but he admitted to me that he purposely starves himself. So I'm glad he's not severe into it, but he definitly still has a problem, it's hard for him to eat normal meals and sometimes he gets all panicky. He ended up telling me cause when he came here on Thursday, I immediatly noticed that he lost a lot of weight. He told me that he's lost about 25lbs recently. It was odd being on the other side, being the one feeling his ribs and hip bones, feeling the worry and fear. He was telling me about how when he eats sometimes he throws up, but said it was involuntary, he doesn't make himself. I honestly expect him to lie to me about it, so I didn't push too hard with the questions. I mean it's a fact, people with eating disorders lie about it. I expect him to omit the truth when it comes to that, I mean frankly I've lied to him about mine, I told him I just starved myself, didn't tell him about the throwing up. The other day he told me about all this food he ate while I was at work, and I didn't believe him but I just nodded my head anyway. He told me that this(starving himself) happened for a period of time in highschool too, he even ended up in the hospital, he passed out and had convulsions from severe dehydration. I dunno, it's just weird. Now I'm the one trying to shove food into him and make him eat. It sucks though cause I"m still fucked up about food, and I feel like I'm "not allowed" to eat more then other people. So when I'm with Jon, and he picks at his food or doesn't eat, I feel conflicted about eating and it's hard. Like the other day I got all sad because I wanted to get chips to eat, but then realized that I "couldn't" cause Jon didn't say he wanted chips first. He kept asking me what was wrong and finally I said I was embarrised/upset cause I wanted to ask him permittion if I could eat chips but I felt like a pig, he was like what??? I just feel like it's not ok for me to eat unless people tell me I can sometimes. In other news, I asked Jon if I'm a bitch, and he said yes. He wasn't joking. So yes, it's official, I'm a bitch. I totally don't mind, he was being honest. Oh, and I told my dad that Jon and I are going away together this coming weekend, he wasn't happy but didn't freak out. GOOD, less aggrivation for me. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: