Date: Jan. 31, 2003 Time: 1:15 PM My current mood is: This little piggy... I have disordered eating. I do not eat normal. *sigh* In the past couple hours I've eaten ice cream, a Lean Cuisine frozen dinner, a granola bar, a giant BJ's muffin, part of an apple, a little bag of potato chips dipped in tuna fish, now just eating tuna fish straight. I want to go full out and binge/purge....yes, I can eat more then this. Why can't I just puuuuuurge?? NO can't do that. I just keep eating so much damn food I feel like I may as well just purge it, you know? But I have to remember it takes over your life. When I was bulimic I was late for EVERYTHING, cause life got in the way of eating and throwing up. Skipped classes, ditched friends, how could I possibly do things like that when I had to eat and throw up instead? But it's hard to remember that when the old feelings wash over me. Just want to do it so much lately :( God I wish I didn't have work today, I just feel like lying around in my pajamas and moping all day. I already did the whole call in sick repeatedly last week so I can't call out again. Maybe I should. Maybe I should just quit today. If I call in sick they will be really really mad at me. I just want to lie down for about 12 hours. I had a dream that I like hijacked a bus and abducted some poor girl at knife point. I had some evil master plan that she was apart of, having something to do with cement but I don't remember what. Then I also hooked up with some guy. I've been having some kind of exciting/weird dreams lately, the other day I had one about being at a dog camp where I got rabis and then all the dogs got rabis too, and the only cure was to eat a bottle of fish food! The day before that I dreamt some christian fundamentalist came to my house and thought I was evil, so evil he couldn't even touch me, and he wanted to kill me. Then I seduced him and he fell inlove with me (in the span of 5 minutes) and he denounced his religion for me, haha!! Why am I evil in my dreams lately?? Maybe cause I AM EVIL! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Um, ok I have to go take a shower and get ready for work now. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: