Date: Jan. 14, 2003 Time: 8:14 PM My current mood is: Freakin out. I freaked out last night after watching the movie Hungerpoint. It's a movie about eating disorders, I knew I shouldn't have watched it. I got all upset and wanted to die, I thought of the future and realized I will always have this in me, I will always have this struggle inside of feeling disgusting and horrible. I just couldn't take it and wanted to cut myself and kill myself, I ended up crying as I talked to Jon and someone else online. I could barely think straight I was so upset...I thought about writing an entry but I think I was just too out of sorts. Eventually I calmed down a bit. I came close to telling Jon why I was upset, he told me that when I'm ready I can, not to feel like I have to tell him now. So I didn't end up telling, because I figured perhaps he wasn't ready to hear. The problem with telling him is that I can't promise I won't ever relapse, and I think that would be a hard thing for someone to hear. Today I fell in LOVE! I ordered in some Water Dragons last week and they are soooooo cute! I used to have a Water Dragon awhile ago, his name was Tyrone. Unfortunatly I ended up giving him away to someone, he needed a larger cage and at the time I didn't feel like I was giving him enough attention. But I do now have my 29 gallon empty, and that would be more then enough room for awhile. Should I or shouldn't I... Here's a picture of a baby dragon: I've been listening to the songs Tempest, Carbon, and Holding On by VNV Nation over and over. Their slower songs are just so awesome, they're so emotional. I definitly recommend to download them. Quiz- anyone know what "VNV" means? I do I do :P Tonight I'm seeing Lord of the Rings part 2 with Jim, yay! Oh and anaschild wanted to know gossipy stuff about me and Jon, to answer her questions: was he good? VERY ;) was he big? Average size I guess, but damn there is something magnetic about his dick, it is all powerful!! who was on top? Both, as well as other positions ;) anything else? No not really, except he's really hairy. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: