Date: Dec. 09, 2002 Time: 8:37 PM My current mood is: Docters visit To start off with, thanks for answering my questions guys! Just cause I'm making another entry does not exclude those of you who haven't answered, in fact anyone who hasn't yet has detention. I was going to write about something but the person I wanted to write about reads this, so I'm not sure...maybe next entry. For now I'll focus on this: I'm cooled off now, I was pissed and upset earlier. Today I went to the docters, since I've been sick since Tuesday. I also wanted to have an EKG because even though I'm eating normal again my heart still feels funny sometimes. I prepped myself for saying "No, I don't want to be weighed", but when the nurse brought me in the room and immediatly told me to take my boots off and get on the scale it caught me offguard and I silently got on. 110lbs she said, of course when I got home I took off my clothes and weighed myself and I'm 109lbs. I was actually kind of releived, I've been dreading the scale thinking I gained tons and tons of weight, but actually I've evened off at my normal weight. I'm glad. Though for the life of me, I'll never figure out why they tell you to get on the scale backwards, then TELL you the number. I thought the point was that you didn't see how much? Anyway, so I told the docter my concerns about my heart, and he asked why do I think I need an EKG....so reluctantly I told him about my eating. So embarrising. I think I kinda confused him, he asked about my weight and I told him that by purging I got to my lowest, he was like "Oh..wait...so were you anorexic too?", me:"Umm..I ate and threw up.". Why do people always think that bulimics don't lose weight? Whatever. Then he just seemed really fake, or just like how all docters seem. He said my heart is probably fine since I'm young, and people my age don't usually have heart problems especially since they don't run in my family. I KNOW THIS! But hello..I've reaked havoc on my body for years...EDs definitly can and DO cause heart problems (just ask whorelikeme). That pissed me off. Then I asked about a couple months ago when I was having these muscle spasms really really badly. He rattled off a couple weird things it could be and said it was probably nothing. I said "Umm..could it be from a potassium deficiency?". him:"Oh. Well, yes..if you're throwing up a lot...ya, that's probably what it would be". What the fuck?? Did I not just tell him I was bulimic? *sigh* Fucking idiots. Then he said TWICE "Now you're not going to go do something stupid and throw up tonight right?". I wanted to just say "No, actually I was thinking more along the lines of cutting myself, but thanks for asking". Anyway, so he ended it off with reassuring me that being my age, my body can take a beating and be ok, that I'm fine and that there's little chance of me having caused any kind of damage. Wow! And to think, I was concerned about my health, I guess eating disorders cause little to no damage at all, guess none of us have anything to worry about *rolls eyes* I love docters. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: