Date: Dec. 06, 2002 Time: 12:20 PM My current mood is: New med, lots of snow Uuuuuuuuufff I'm still sick *cough cough* I'm able to keep food down though, so that's good. Sometimes I'll feel a little nausious but then I'm ok. Now my fucking ear is blocked! I didn't go to work yesterday, and I'm debating whether I should call in again today. I feel wicked guilty, I shouldn't be a baby about it. Then again even though I am eating normal now, I don't know if I'm back to optimal health yet(I mean besides being sick), and maybe I shouldn't push myself. Actually you know what I realized today? That being sick, if you took away the cough, blocked ears and having to blow my nose, this is how I felt everyday during my eating disorder. Seriously, you know when you're sick and you're just so whiped out and exhausted you could die? Yup, that's been my life everyday for years. What the fuck? I went to my psychiatrist appt. today, and when I got back I was so exhausted from the trip. He gave me a perscription for Trileptal, a mood stablizer. When we discussed different possibilities of medications, I brought up about how the last couple anti-depressants made me get manic, he got all surprised and was like "Oh really? I didn't know that". Hellooooo, maybe listen to what I say once in awhile? So anyway, hence the mood stabilizer. He said that some people with depression are like that, I told him how manic depression runs in my family so he said that's probably why that happened. He said it would be good to find out what my Uncle takes for it, but I don't think I'd feel comfortable asking him. He's told me different meds he was on before in conversation, but he lives in California and I'm not just going to randomly call him up and ask that. I wonder if I'll eventually get manic depression? Who knows. Aaaahh I'm all achy :( It snowed a butt-load last night and today, I wonder how many inches? I'm guessing 6. Actually I have no idea. Anyone in Boston want to clue me in? I just know I got snow all over me this morning. Oh and I emailed Katie saying how I felt kinda bad that she never asked how I was doing, especially with the eating and after I told her I was getting better. She apologized a ton and said that she didn't even know I was getting better, I never told her. Actually I did tell her but I told he while we were tripping lol, so I can see how she wouldn't remember. She said I always push people away when they try to see how I'm doing, I don't ever get personal, so she was trying to respect my bounderies. I completely understand that, I mean I can't expect people to read my mind. Sometimes I forget how closed off I am. But she says now that she knows that I'm ok talking about it that she would like to know how I'm doing, she just didn't think it was ok to ask before. So I'm glad we got that settled. And to make up for it she even made me a mix tape :) Oh my god I have the hiccups! NOooooooooooo! Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: