Date: Nov. 21, 2002 Time: 10:29 PM My current mood is: I got a sex change First off: Great news!! My sister went to Planned Parenthood and they said "Ummm what are you talking about, you're NOT pregnent.". Whew! She's lucky as all hell. Guess that home test she took was a false positive. I'm feeling tired and sick today, I'm not sick as in disease-sick, my stomach is killing me. I thought since I was doing ok digesting food that it would be all smooth sailing now but my digestive system seems to have reverted back for a day and forget what to do. Oh well, guess it's the type of thing that will have ups and downs but get better over time right? Yesterday I went shopping with my aunt for about 4 hours!! I bought tons of clothes, and I mean like NORMAL clothes! My aunt keeps telling me to dress different and so does everyone else, and though this may seem like selling out I guess they're kind of right. Basiclly I dress like a homeless goth/metal guy. Perhaps I should dress more girly. I mean if I'm going to like my body, I think wearing clothes that actually flatter my figure and show it off would help that. Why hide in baggy clothes? I can't believe it, I actually got PASTEL shirts! Yes, you heard it right, pastel. I even got cream/off-white shirts too! This coming from me who always wears black baggy ripped guys jeans with metal shirts(also black) with a big flannel over it and army boots. Only make up thick black eyeliner, hair down and plain, legs unshaven. The girl who, when I once told my friend John that I was filing my nails, he was like "Oh my god, I can't even picture you doing something that girly!!". And that's just filing my nails. So now I have a couple pairs of women's jeans(well juniors technicly), and some tight/showy girly shirts and sweaters in an almost eery array of colors. At least I didn't get pink. How am I supposed to be all tough and badass in a pastel blue shirt? Hmmmm. I also got tons of makeup and skin care products at Clinique! Yep, them fancy makeup (said in redneck accent). I got made up by the girls at the counter, and they all complimented me *blush*. Even some random woman walking by stopped to say she thought I was beautiful....felt kind of Twilight Zone-ish. Anyway, so I got tons of cool skin care stuff, which has been my new obsession lately. MY SKIN! I've only used it for one day but holy shit, my skin is so soft already. At the store I kind of thought maybe it's the same as cheap stuff that I normally buy, just more expensive, but seriously it actually works a lot better. So I decided as a way to focus on my body in a positive and healthy way, I'm going to just indulge myself completly with skin care. This means once a week facial mud masks, doing the Clinique friggen 5 thousand different products for the morning and night, use moisturizer on my body every night, use moisturizing body wash, Vaseline on my lips every night....the works. I will become: A Girly Girl. Yep. I just think turning around a hate for my body to treating my body luxuriously would be such a positive step. And sure if I told people my whole skin care regime they might laugh at me and say "oh you're one of *those* girls", but hey you know what, screw them. I'm sick of slowely decaying, I need some fertilizer baby! Oh wait, that sounded sexual. Hehe. A confession: I like the Anna Nicole Smith show. Yes, I actually like her. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: