Date: Nov. 19, 2002
Time: 11:49 PM
My current mood is:
My sister's unfortunate news
Here I am, trying not to cry at the news. My sister just told me that she's pregnent. She's taking the abortion pill on Thursday. It just...the thing that upsets me is that I don't want her to go through what I went through. It brings back all the shit, and I just want better for her. When I had an abortion, it triggered me back hardcore into my eating disorder, prior to this I would actually have to say I was fully recovered. I was totally fine. After that, it just fucked me up and god, I've been plagued with my ED since. I'd never hated myself/my body/my fat with such a vengence till then. I'm so worried that will happen to her. She doesn't really seem to care or be affected by it, but then again you kind of have to make yourself not care in order to get through it. *sigh* I just, I don't know. I wish this didn't happen to her. She's only 18. I asked if she thought about having it, though I knew it wouldn't be the right thing for her anyway. I mean her boyfriend is a fulltime drug dealer(no real job) and high school drop out, not exactly dad material. This just sucks.
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