Date: Nov. 12, 2002 Time: 1:14 AM My current mood is: Shopping, apparently I need a makeover Well I was in an ok mood just now, but then while I was looking for something on the computer I came across a letter my dad had typed to his lawyer about me. God I hate this situation. The other day he said he's going to start charging me rent, and that I have a time limit as to how long I can live here, yet the house is in me and my sisters names so how can he kick us out?? The lawyer we went to a little while ago said it's illegal for him to kick either of us out, my aunt is going to call him tomorrow and tell him what my dad said. This is such a mess, I can't believe my sister and I have a lawyer against my dad, and my dad is writing to his lawyer...why can't everything just be fucking normal?? Today I went shopping with my aunt for like 3 1/2 hours! Some good exercise, I'll tell ya that. She only cried once which was good. I was kind of embarrised when she laughed her usual unnerving manic laugh that made people look at her oddly, and when she complained a million times at the resturaunt we went to, she ALWAYS sends food back and complains! I told her about taking time off from school, of course she lectured me about how it was the wrong decision and tried to make me promise I wouldn't. Why do people keep doing this?? I wish everyone would leave me alone and trust that I'm making the right decision. Cause I am. If I stay in school I'll end up fucking dead, I need time off to put my mind back together and get well. She was all psyched cause I got a pair of BLUE jeans, not the usual black, and a dark red sweater. I also got a leapard print bra and underwear, raawwr! She kept saying we're going to make me over, give me a whole new look, reinvent me. Why does everyone in my family hate the way I look??? Seriously, everyone gives me shit, saying all I wear is black, that I look like I'm 15 years old (I can't help it if I look young!), that I dress immature, and that I should wear more makeup. Ha! Isn't that a compliment, being told to I need to wear more makeup *rolls eyes*. Everyone treats me like a "Before" picture, like someone just screaming for a makeover. Do I need one? I don't wear much makeup, but why should I anyway? I wear black eyeliner, sometimes eyes shadow and I really only wear mascara when my compulsive hair pulling gets bad (prevents me from pulling). What's wrong with my clothes though? Ok fine, I admit my clothes need a bit of an overhall. Everyone just hates that I don't dress all girly and preppy. I happen to hate pink ok? I'm not comfortable dressing all girly. Then again maybe I should not dress in all baggy guys clothes all the time, perhaps I should show off my body more and like the way I look? I recently realized that most of my pants aren't very flattering, they're baggy and actually make me look fatter and unshapely. I feel like one big fashion don't, but then again I don't feel like people will take me seriously if I go around dressing in mini skirts and preppy stuff. Why can't people just let me wear what I have and not treat me like an ugly idiot? My email still won't work!! Damnit, it says I have over 50 emails too. My dad says the server in our town is busted or something, it's so bizarre that we can still go online but no email programs will work. I hope it gets fixed soon! As far as food, still eating! Aren't you proud? I haven't had hiccuping problems today which is good....since I've been eating normal every time I eat I have mad hiccups afterwards, my body trying to subtly puke it. It's true, your body hiccups using the same muscles as it does to throw up. Unfortunatly once again having trouble digesting food at a normal pace, my stomach is growing yet I can only pee. Don't you love hearing about my bathroom behaviors? Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: