Date: Nov. 12, 2002
Time: 9:38 PM
My current mood is:
More of the same
Munching on cauliflower dipped in french dressing...I'm sure you're jealous. Today I finally got the form signed for dropping the semester. I'm so glad I finally did it. Unfortunatly everyone is still giving me shit about it. I KNEW this was a mistake when I did it, but I told my aunt the name of my advisor at school. Of course she goes and calls her!! I'm so pissed she did that. But wait it gets better, my dad took the liberty to call my therapist and basiclly say it's my psychiatrist's fault I'm dropping out! What the fuck???? He's all mad that I'm not on medication and blames my psych. for that, ok first off my dad doesn't even know what meds I've been on, and the reason I'm not on medication right now is because so far nothing works. But he won't listen to reason. I saw my therapist today, and she said that I should explain why I dropped out to my dad, that as far as he knows I just stopped because I can't concentrate and not on ADD medication, that if I say I'm depressed and all that, perhaps he'll understand better. It actually is a good idea, I mean truthfully I guess I can see why he would be pissed since he has no idea why I'm dropping out. But at the same time I just can't tell him about my ED or depression...maybe if I just say I"m having a hard time right now? And my aunt and grandfather are still harassing me like I was saying, aside from the advisor thing, talkin crazy talk like "You're letting your dad win!" which I have NO idea what that's supposed to mean, my grandfather saying "Just be quiet and do as you're told", hello I'm 23! They want me to come over to eat on Thursday but god if they start harping on me I'm out of there. Once again I really wish everyone would leave me alone, I'm trying to get better and all they keep doing acting disgusted with me :( The letter from the lawyer is being sent to my dad tomorrow. I wish I could talk to my sister about it and just stop all this, but she'll just scream at me. I know my dad's probably trying to fuck us over but still he's my dad, I can't do this. Ufff I feel sick, I ate too much. My internet connection is STILL fucked up. The only thing I can really do is make diary entries and read diaries. I can read posts on TF and the Broken Board, but can't really post or read my email still. Grrrrr.
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