Date: Oct. 28, 2002
Time: 6:33 PM
My current mood is:
Why is my dad like this?
What the fuck? I just got into a fight with my dad. He wanted me to help lift this heavy table, and I was like I can't lift cause of my arm, so he starts yelling at me so I said fine I'll try. So we get down there and he says to hold it with both hands, which I CAN'T. I told him again I can't use my arm it's injured, and he just starts yelling at me more saying to just use it anyway. What a prick! Use it anyway?? I can't even fucking lift my arm or hold even a pound without it hurting! Why is he such an asshole? It's not just like "ouch I have a bruise" type of pain, I'm talking like actually affects my life type of thing. And I can't believe he'd ask me to do something which would REALLY injure it more. I mean the thing is I don't ever complain about it much, I just deal with it and use my good arm for things, but when my own dad gives me shit about it and yells at me cause of it, what the fuck does he want me to do?? I don't know what he wants from me. It hurts me 24 hours a day, have severly limited range of motion in it, and can barely hold anything at all, or if I do it's only for a few quick seconds....yet he's yelling at me because of it? Does he think I LIKE not being able to use my arm? He acts like I'm just pretending cause I'm lazy. It just really hurts me to have someone act like that. I don't use it as an excuse, I try to do as much as I can by myself. I even use my arm more then I should sometimes in order to do things. Oh and then he starts yelling saying I'm wasting his health insurance, that HE'S paying for health insurance not me so he has a right to tell me blah blah blah(actually he gets insurance through his job). Anyway, he also pissed me off cause the other day, I finally broke down and decided to tell him I can't do the towels. I can put them in the wash and dryer, I just can't fold them. So I told him, and sure enough he starts being all stupid instead of understanding. Immediatly he asks me why can't I, what am I going to do instead then as a chore, I dunno just being all bitchy acting as if once again I'm purposly doing it to be lazy. And I hate how every time I tell him I can't do something cause of my arm, he starts yelling at me about doing something about it, about not being in physical therapy, like actually YELLING at me. So cause of the towel thing he took out the health insurence book and highlighted a name, and left a note ordering me to call up that place and start physical therapy. Ummm...excuse me??? First off, I've already been to the docter and he gave me a perscription to a specific place to go to already. I'm 23 years old, I don't need him ordering me around like that, I'm not fucking incompetent. Anyway I hung out with Katie, Jim, Hilary, Mike and Shaggy this weekend, not all at once though. Katie and I snorted Aderall in the bathroom at the lame club/bar we go to then got drunk, it was a nice mix and I loved how it gave me so much more energy! I haven't snorted stimulants in a long time. Hanging out with Jim was cool, we went to this neat little dive bar (I love dives!). I got up the guts to tell him that the whole year he was going out with his now exgirlfriend, he was totally miserable and bitter, and that since he broke up with her he's been himself again. I was a little afraid to tell him before cause I didn't want him to think I was dissing his girl, what with me being his ex too you know? But actually he said "Oh really? My sister said the same thing!", so we had a whole talk about that, it was pretty cool. **puke break** Ok back. What was I going to talk about? Oh ya, now I remember, I went to a lawyer on Saturday with my aunt and sister. *sigh* yes a lawyer, against my dad. I hate this, I don't want to do this. But my aunt and sister keeps saying we have to. I guess cause of the way he's handling the money we got from our mom, he won't show us how he's spent it, and legally he's supposed to give us an accounting of what he spends it on. We're trying to get him removed as the person in charge of it and have my aunt instead. Yes, my aunt is totally psycho, but she would die for both me and my sister if she had to. She would do absolutly anything for us, so while yes she's totally crazy and horrible with her own money, I know there's no way in hell she'd touch ours. My dad on the other hand, unfortunatly I don't trust him, and neither does my sister. Awhile ago we found out he was planning on spending the money our money on Donna (his now ex-fiance) back when they were together. I don't know, I don't even care about the money, it just hurts me to think he would do that and the fact that he always lies to us about shit. Sucks.
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