Date: Oct. 25, 2002 Time: 1:00 AM My current mood is: Wow am I whiny today. I'm just over tired. I'm so bored right now. I probably should be sleeping since I have to get up at 7am, but *in a whiny kids voice* I don't feeeeeeel like it. Hehe. Tonight Katie came over, kind of invited herself over which is good I guess, seeing as lately I never hang out or call anyone. Except occasionally. We tried on outfits for Saturday, we're going to a Halloween party and dressing as whores, and her old roommate Mike is going to be our pimp. I was a little uncomfortable trying stuff on because of the cuts on my arm, I tried to keep my arm behind my back so I'm not sure if she noticed or not. Then as I was changing she sat there and I got paranoid that she was watching me, because the last time she did that, afterwards she yelled at me that she could see my ribs. Then again I'm not as thin as I was then, will be soon though! This entry is dumb. Yes, I fully admit it. But my life is boring, what do you expect?? Today I was realizing just how easy it is to not eat. I mean the very fact that I binge and purge when I feel like it, and don't keep down more then 500 calories a day(less lately, 500 is the upper limit). It's that simple. I don't know why I was thinking about this. I guess because I was remembering times where it's been hard for me stick to it for this long, and end up binging but keeping it down. I haven't actually kept down unwanted food since...umm...weeks? I'm glad. I'm such a lazy shit though, I NEVER exercise. If I did I'd be losing mad amounts of weight right now, but eh, whatever. I feel like eating and puking but I'm too tired and lazy. Did I mention my insurence will not cover my handicrapped arm anymore? I forget if I did or not. Well anyway, they won't. Apparently they say I've made the maximum progress with it....which is wonderful, considering it's still FUCKED UP! Maximum progress. How can it be maximum if I've never made ANY progress with it??? I still can't lift things, even resting it on the arm of this chair hurts from lifting it that high. I can't lift my arm over my head, or even up to my shoulder. This has not changed. How is that any progress at all? Whatever, just one more person(er..people?) giving up on me. Just one more way I'm a hopeless case. Insurance companies can lick my ass. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: