Date: Oct. 12, 2002 Time: 1:56 PM My current mood is: Some pompous attitude Sooooo tiiiiiirrrrrred..... my aunt made me get up at 8:30am today, she was going to have me and my sister go with her to talk to a lawyer about my dad. It really stressed me out, I mean imagine getting a lawyer against your dad. We didn't end up going though, cause my sister got drunk last night and hurt her knee, so since my sister couldn't come my aunt just changed the appointment. I was so stressed about it though, and that she was going to take us out to eat that I didn't eat till about an hour ago... Ok I know that doesn't sound like very long, but I was feeling really tired and dizzy. When I stood up my hearing went(low blood pressure), and I'm kind of having trouble breathing today. Not like, asthma, but...can't really explain, it's just hard for me to breath sometimes when I'm not eating enough, like I have to use extra effort to inhale. So I finally ate 2/3 of an apple and a bowl of Cocoa Puffs. Lately I keep overcalculating the amount of calories I've eaten. Oh well. I was soooo tired though, cause I CLEANED MY ROOM!!! Shock, horror. It took me about 2 hours, and that's with shoving all my clothes into my closet floor, if I had actually hung them up it would have been another half an hour. It was hard though, had no energy. Yesterday it sucked out. Actually today it sucks out too, but yesterday I was actually outside so I felt it more. I think it was like in the mid 40's, I was sooooo cold. I started having blood flow problems again, my fingernails turned purpleish greyish, and my fingers became wrinkled and numb. Not just "damn my hands are cold" numb, I mean like I had to keep hitting them as I was typing a paper, in order to get feeling back. Then of course muscles started cramping/spasming, fucking annoying I tell ya. Yes, I actually DID HOMEWORK! I did the journal I was supposed to have been doing all semester so far, I did it in 2 days. Then also did other homework. I feel so productive...it's weird, all of a sudden I snapped out of my depression(or not snapped out of, more like rose a little) and was able to get shit done. I'm so glad, from now on I'm going to do my work, I swear! It will happen! Yesterday as I was typing my paper at school, this girl Vanessa I know asked me "Why do you go here??", refering to why am I at such a crappy school. Good question, I was wondering that very same thing. Why DO I go to my school? It's the most fucking retarded place ever. Check this out, and keep in mind this is college I'm in: Yesterday I got my test back in science, and for the question "What are stars?", I answered that they are giant balls of gas, and I got the answer WRONG! Want to guess what the correct answer is? "Heavenly bodies in the sky"....is he fucking kidding me???? He even said "to those that answered that they are balls of gas, I marked it wrong cause we never stated that in class". I actually got a question wrong because I gave too much info?? *shakes head* that's pathetic. I started complaining to this guy in my class about it, he looked at me silently then said "They're giant balls of gas? How did you know that?". Oh my god. Welcome to my college. Then the teacher proceeded to hand out boxes that had random objects in them, and we had to shake them to figure out what types of objects were in them. I feel like I'm in fucking kindergarton here! The whole time I stared at the wall wondering how this is considered college, I mean it's a goddamn joke. I curse the day I ever decided to go to this school. See, this is why I do bad and I never go to class, I just can't fucking stand the classes. They're a complete waste of time. In my writing class, she had us all write essays on how people should live there lives. Mine said that the best way to live your life is to not listen to people who write essays telling you how to live your life. Gee what a concept. PS- you really should click on that webpage link, it's for this program that detects spyware on your computer, I just did it and there's over 100 spy things on mine!! AAaaahhh! Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: