Date: Oct. 01, 2002 Time: 1:18 AM My current mood is: Entry 2 --yay I'm all drugged out and rambling incoherently I have more to say, I always have more to say. But the pills I stole from my dad are making me all wishy washy, antianxiety pills will do that to ya(especially when you take more then you should)! Stupid fucking psych. appointment tomorrow at 9am. I'm going to ask to go back on Zoloft, I have a whole plan worked out. Lately I've been restricting calories to around 500 a day and not puking. Even just the 500 cals worth of food is pissing off mystomach which is refusing to properly digest the food. I'm typing so slow right now, I think if I was saying this out loud I'd be talking slow and slurred. NIce vision for ya there. I hope my dad stops taking it and forgets about it so I can steal the pills, all of them. And I'm angry. I'm angry at all the websites and books and people that make it like all you have to do is this one little thing and *poof* your depression is gone. One pill will solve you all forever. "Depression is treatable" Oh really? Fuck you. Why do I get left out of tha equation? People are lucky to have a depressive episode, that kind you just suddenly get and then with treatment it's over, and everything is back to normal. That's all fine and dandy now isn't it. I'm not trying to make fun of people, but this is purely me ranting while my mind is all fuzzy on pills. Why cant it be like that for me huh?? Why do I have to be incurable. When everyone else gets a chance, why can't I? It's not fair. Why even be in treatment? Oh so wonderful to know I am left behind, in this day and age where my dad, after a couple days of breaking up with Donna, can walk into a psychiatrists office and get a prescription of Prozac, then decide a few days later that it's not working.... I Don't know what I was supposed to end that sentence with. I'm just rambling. I'm really tired and out of it, I'm going to go now. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: