Date: Aug. 31, 2002 Time: 9:25 AM My current mood is: Once again I'm up too early Wow, why am I up right now? I hate that, whenever I get drunk I always wake up way too early. I went out to the local bar/club with Ted and Jim. Jim was cool, neither of us brought up what we did last week. As I look at my site meter, I'm forced to wonder....to the people who are using the browser Opera 5, what in gods name are you doing? I've never even heard of that browser. Hehe, sorry not trying to make fun of you, but seriously why not just get Explorer or something? And most of the people who visit my diary are in the same time zone as me, that's odd. So the other night Christopher and I saw the movie Signs, it was actually really good! I didn't really want to see it at first cause I hate Mel Gibson and I figured it would suck(not many good alien movies now days), but I really liked it. After that we went back to my house, where while we were making out Christopher told me that he wanted to let me know he still doesn't want something serious/is afraid of getting attached to anyone. It was kind of an awkward moment, I didn't really know what to say so I just stared at his arm hair. I could feel my face show sadness which pissed me off. I wish I could go back to how I was when I was younger, when everyone used to say I had a "stone face", never showing any emotion. But then after thinking about it, I realized, so what? Who cares what we label how me and him relate to each other? We are the way we are, no more no less. So I'm cool with it. I'm freezing right now, it's 62 degrees out and my dad went around opening all the windows and doors! Fuck head! I am coooooooooooold! I'm supposed to go to the docters to get blood tests done on my liver, but I can't go. Seriously, I just CAN'T! I need to lose 8lbs first. Yes, I am serious. I know it's dumb but I just can't go at this weight. Why do they always have to weigh people at docters visits?? I'm really against that, I don't see why it's any of their business what I weigh. It really makes me upset that they weigh me, I wish I could just have something in my file saying not to. So I don't know what to do, cause my psych. is going to get mad if I don't go, I'm supposed to get my liver tested cause of the medication I'm on. I know I promised myself I was not going to use diet pills anymore, just "natural" means of losing weight(ha, like throwing up and starving is natural), but I can't take this, I have to get some Xenadrine into me now!!! Actually oddly enough, I've been throwing up less and less, it's just getting too scary to eat that much even if I'm going to throw it up, I just keep obsessing about how many calories am I keeping down. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: