Date: Aug. 22, 2002 Time: 4:38 PM My current mood is: - *there's something wrong with Diaryland right now so I can't put a title on this! Yesterday was supposed to be the day I went to that eating disorder group meeting. I specifically asked to have the day off so I could go, I didn't go though cause my dad's friends Linda and Jerry wanted me to go out to eat for their daughter(my sisters friend) Laura's birthday. It was kind of ironic, go to an ED group meeting, or go out to eat and throw up... I always feel guilty if I back out of social things like that or with friends, so I said yes I would go. Oh well, maybe some other time. Besides, I've gained a lot of weight, I think before I go to a meeting like that I need to be safetly back at 95lbs. Cause if I go at 105lbs, I don't *really* have an eating disorder and don't deserve to be there. Actually, I'm not really 105lbs, the scale says so but once again my digestive system is fucked and I haven't gone to the bathroom in days, I don't remember when the last time was. 4 or 5 days ago? I really need to get my digestive system functioning better, I keep telling myself I will start taking fiber powder everyday, I think that would help maybe? Well I do have that docters appointment in a week...oh wait, I didn't make it yet...oops! Anyway, I'll ask him about it, hopefully he won't be like "Awww you just think you're fat" like my last docter did. Oh I'm happy! I finally returned my broken cell phone and got a new one. I feel guilty for having one, having a cell phone is a bad thing, but I kind of need it since if anyone ever calls for me my dad doesn't give me the messege, isn't that rude? Seriously, people will ask why I never called them back and I'll be like huh, you called? My dad went away somewhere today, he'll be back tomorrow. To some mountins or something. Jerry said "so you know he's going to Vermont so he'll be gone the whole weekend right?" No, he never told me. Thanks. So I'm not sure when he's coming back. Last night I went to the goth/industrial club with Christopher, I didn't bring anyone and neither did he so it was cool, so it was just me and him talking all night :) He liked my outfit cause it was actually tight/form fitting. The sad thing is, the pants that were skin tight that I was wearing, normally they are baggy on me! Fat fat fat. Oh and I went to the gynocologist. She said she thinks I may have a minor...eww I don't even want to SAY the word! Lets just say the first word can be used in baking bread. She said it's just minor though, she's not even sure if it's even that, it may just go away. I hope so!! Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: