Date: Aug. 20, 2002 Time: 12:14 AM My current mood is: Oh boy, another update Taking another break from working on my webpage project, it's almost done! An 8 page webpage in 2 days...woo hoo! Actually I'll probably still be putting the finishing touches on it tomorrow. Anyway, more updates: In terms of eating, I totally relapsed, infact I purged 3 times yesterday, only once so far today though (may again in a bit). Ya, I know I know, I'm a dissapointment. I just can't have food in me! I don't like it! It's not supposed to be in me.... Infact I was thinking about this today on my break at work. I'm at the point now where I'm completely aware that it's not all about being thin, to the point that I don't even bullshit myself about it. I don't obsess as much about being "thin", cause it's not about that. I really just don't feel like I deserve food in me, I can't digest all those calories, it's just... wrong. I mean of course I still think I look gross and should lose weight, but it's more in a way that I want proof. Proof of what I do, and being underweight would show I am hurting myself enough. Not in the way that normal people want to be thin. So anyway, today I ate cereal(dry), some chinese food and potato chips(purged), and twice I ate grapes. Aren't you fascinated? In other news, I'm glad I'm going to the gynocologist soon, I've got some...umm...feminine problems suddenly. Grrrrrrrrr! I think another Urinary Tract Infection, how utterly delightful. What else.... the other day I gave one of the Assistant Managers the finger, I was kind of surprised that I didn't get in trouble, hehe. I also got Evil Eric in trouble, ha! A customer complained to me about him, calling him a "son-of-a-bitch" and left, so I made sure to tell the manager, she said "oh, so that makes 2 complaints about him today?". Why does he work there, he gets complaints all the time? Oh, and something else lovely, fucking TRAVIS came to visit me at work!!! Why won't he leave me alone?! I thought I finally got rid of him, but again he returns. He's the most annoying stalker ever(as opposed to Katie's stalker, who's nice). I can't believe I made out with Jim. That was such a bad idea. And being drunk isn't an excuse! I was drunk for like 4 days straight last week by the way. I seriously hope Jim and I can pretend that never happened, cause it's never going to happen again. I'm just not into him like that anymore. Alright, I think I'm going to eat and throw up now. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: