Date: Aug. 06, 2002
Time: 10:11 PM
My current mood is:
I hate hate hate this!
I'm freaking out right now. I just got back from my webdesign class, that thin girl was there. As I was walking over to go smoke a cigerette to where her and some other people were, I heard a guy ask her how much she weighed, she said 100lbs. I'm not good with guessing height, but I'd say she's about 5'6! This majorly triggered and upset me, and I just can't stop thinking about losing weight now. Seeing someone up close who obviously has an ED is SO triggering, I just can't handle it. I don't know what to do, I feel like it would be great to start eating less and lose weight, I bet I'm 100lbs by now! The thought of eating normal and weighing normal weight, it makes me feel like a fat loser. And no, this isn't saying that all the normal weight people of the world are that, it's just me. I feel like by eating normal and being a healthy weight...I don't know, I mean what is there? I feel like it makes me nothing, I only matter if I'm underweight. I really feel like cutting myself, I'm trying not to. I'm just so upset right now.Donna bought me this HUGE cake today for my birthday, in an obvious attempt to look good infront of my dad. The thing is, the cake really was much bigger then you would normally even get someone for their birthday, it pissed me off. Then she cut me this HUGE slice, literally it was the size of 2 normal pieces of cake, then cut herself a tiny sliver, barely anything. I got a bunch of movies. Fuck this entry, I'm too much in a bad mood to pretend to feel like talking. Fuck everything.
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