Date: Jul. 29, 2002 Time: 1:30 PM My current mood is: My dad is a controlling fuck My sister just told me that yesterday my dad told his friend Linda that he changed his mind about breaking up with Donna, they are still going to get married. I feel like I"m suffocating. I don't know what's going on, my dad NEVER tells us anything! The only things we ever know is when Linda tells us, or by reading my dad's email. Sure it's wrong to read it, but that's the only way I know what's happening at all. I don't understand it though cause yesterday I read his email and he told this woman he talks to that he's still going to break up with her. And the problem is, I was going to move into my dad's studio apartment that he rents out, but last night the unavoidable happened. I say unavoidable cause I knew it would happen, it was only a matter of time. The words "FINE! Then you can't live in the studio!" rang from my dad. It was remanicent of a 2 year old screaming "You can't play with my toy!". He said it because I told him my car was mine. Which it is. Once again his insane controllingness makes me want to punch someone. You may wonder why would he not let me live there since I stated that I own my car.... well, my dad ALWAYS tries to find a way to have control over me, to lord something over my head. He HATES the fact that I own my car, and that he can't take it away or threaten me with it. Infact he's hated it ever since I turned 18, because now how can he claim control over me? He can't ground me, can't hit me, can't send me to my room...he can't take anything away from me, what is left? I can see it in his eyes too, ever since I was 18, when he gets mad at me he wants to explode because he knows he can't manipulate me or control me. So I finally gave him something he can control me with, letting me live in the studio. I knew he would eventually be an immature bastard and use it to control me and to make me do what he says, it was only a matter of time. I was hoping he wouldn't realize it till I was moved out and safe from that. But now.....uffff. Mind you, he didn't say I definitly couldn't live there, I think he was just mad. But now he has the idea of it, and will continue to hold it over me and use it against me. And now this in combination with Donna moving in when they get married...NO WAY. If he says I can't move in the studio, then too bad, I'll tell him I don't care I'm STILL moving out. And that he better take out the money that my mom left me and let me use it for rent since I can't afford it on my own. Sure, I know that's kind of wasting it but I don't care, it will be worth it to me. And if he says no... well that is illegal and I will tell him that I'm going to the court to get him removed as the delegater of the trust money. That's one thing, he has my mom's money to hold against us, yet if he actually does that it is illegal. The question is, can he control his own need to have power over us? The second he tries to manipulate me with my mom's money I'm going to have him removed and have the bank be in control of it, because that's fucking immature as hell. And I really don't doubt he would do that. So anyway, regardless of if I live in my dad's studio or not, I'm moving out, I don't care. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: