Date: Jul. 08, 2002 Time: 1:46 AM My current mood is: Piglet That's what my sister called me last night, Piglet. Sure, she spat the word out in a drunkingly as she stumbled around the kitchen. But still, she meant it, the word shot through me, and I felt ashamed. Katie laughed. But she too was drunk, so I won't hold it against her. They both made fun of the fact that I had left nothing but a solitary oreo in the package and had eaten all the cheezits, leaving only the box in the cabinet. That's one of my tricks you see, they can't tell that you're binged and eaten everything if you just put the empty box back. Yet my trick had failed me. Katie knows I am bulimic/anorexic. My sister...well to tell you the truth I'm fairly certain she knows too. How could she not? Yet they choose to laugh at me about it. That's ok. I've been binging and purging everything in the house since my dad left, it's my own fault. But for the rest of the week I won't eat. Nope. I've said that a million times before and I always end up eating, but I will try as hard as possible. Or at least, I'm not allowed to eat anything in the house. But that's only if I break down and eat. I shouldn't have ANYTHING! Besides that last night was pretty fun though, me and Katie got drunk off of Old Grandad Whiskey mixed with sour mix(tastes nothing like whiskey!) and then rum and coke. At 3am we decided to go for a walk, so we went down to the playground and swung on the swings. Katie informed me that she has to move back home, so I can't move in with her. Hopes crushed yet again. Again I wondered why did she ask me to move in without first seeing if she was actually going to be LIVING THERE? Apparently her parents can't afford to keep helping to pay her rent(she's in college so can't afford it on her own). So that's that. I'm not living with anyone, end of story. If I move out, it will be on my own, I can't take this fucking bullshit from everyone. Don't get me wrong, Katie is one of my best friends, she's definitly cool as shit, but goddamn....why does she keep doing this to me?? When I say I want to move out, I'm VERY SERIOUS. I expect other people to be too. If you're going to ask me to move in with you, you better fucking know you can live there in the first place! So what I'm going to do, I'm going to ask my dad if I can live in the studio he rents out. I wish I didn't have to live there, cause sure I'll be on my own but my dad will hold it over me, be like "I won't let you live there if you don't blah blah blah" with a bratty look on his face. Anything he can lord over me, he will. I just can't fucking live here anymore. I CAN'T TAKE IT! I always swore that once I turned 17, the legal age to move out, that I would. That the second I was able to I'd be out of this house. It just didn't end up working out that way, and now here I am almost 23 years old still living at home. My eyes have been bothering me a lot. Grrr...I think I have ALLERGIES! Noooooooo! I haven't had allergies since I was little, like 5 years old. But there's been air quality warnings lately, pollen is bad I guess, and now my eyes are all puffy and hurt. It's pretty damn annoying. Well one good thing is that Damien finally finished building my new computer, yay!! It has Windows XP, he put on some cool games, the free moniter he got for me didn't work so he's going to try to get another, if not I'll just buy one. I also need a keyboard, but besides that I got all the basics. Right now I'm listening to a song about Mullets, how odd. I'm so tired. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: