Date: Jun. 25, 2002
Time: 4:57 PM
My current mood is:
Pointless stuff
Right now I am eating a Waist Watchers frozen dinner, and I feel much more guilty about it then I actually should(230 calories, I mean come on!) I'm in a better mood today so far then yesterday, definitly a good thing. I just talked to Hilary, I'm going to hang out with her and watch American Psycho 2 tonight. I feel like I'm forcing myself, cause if it was up to me I'd just sit at home and do nothing per usual. But no, I must socialize, it's not that I dislike people I just...I don't know, I can't explain it. My turtle Morla didn't eat any of the fish I bought, so now I have these 5 little fish swimming around in a plastic container, what the fuck am I supposed to do with them?? I guess I could return them, but I'd feel kind of like an idiot, seeing as that they were only 10 cents each. Maybe I'll throw them in my 5 gallon which is currently empty. I'm so gross. There is too much of me here...I have to get to at least 90lbs to be ok! Lately there is more urgency in those statements in my head, I HAVE to lose weight, everything will be ok then, right? I just made a bagel with creamcheese then put it down the garbage disposal. I feel bad, cause I've started throwing away food like that recently again. I used to do that a lot before, when I was starving myself a lot. When I throw away food, it's almost as if I ate it, it makes me feel satisfied and not hungry anymore, weird huh? Ok, I'm desperatly trying to make a new webpage, since MSN decided to be crap, but god I can't find anywhere good to make it!
This I got at ana4life's diary, a name analizer thingy
And I will leave my name in specifically for recentmoon, lol! It's actually pretty accurate too!
The name of Ilana creates a friendly, sociable, charming nature, but causes you to be too easily influenced by others. While you find it easy to meet and mix, and can appear agreeable and compromising in conversation, you can become dogmatic and forceful if pressed too far. Others learn that you cannot be told what to do and you seldom change your mind once it is made up. You prefer situations that allow a degree of independence, but are reluctant to take on a demanding work-load or responsibility. In a position dealing with the public, you could do well because of your friendly personality, interest in people, and desire to please. When asked, you are able to give others good advice that you would probably not follow yourself, but must guard against being too opinionated in controversial matters. The physical weaknesses due to this name centre in the fluids of the body and the senses of the head, causing headaches, eye, teeth, or severe sinus conditions; also, kidney or bladder weaknesses.
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