Date: Jun. 20, 2002
Time: 3:33 AM
My current mood is:
Thousanth entry in the past 24 hours, or just seems like it.
Oh my god, I'm seriously trying so hard not to cry right now. I just feel like a fucking idiot....I just realized it's the wrong WEEK! My fucking GOD what is WRONG with me!!! So I missed my therapy appointment, it was on Tuesday. Damn. And I hadn't had an appointment in a couple of weeks either, maybe even 3 weeks I think. I really was planning on going, I seriously thought that yesterday was the 12th. I didn't think it was possible, but yes, I HAVE gotten more stupid. Actually, I think it's from my medication. Side effects of Topamax are memory problems and confusion......great, just what I need more of!! I already walk around with a perpetual question mark over my head, I don't need more! I can't stay on this, this is making me really upset. I can't do what I did with the Prozac, stay on it till I go utterly insane and start wanting to kill people. Except with this it would be..umm..walking around asking people where I am and what my name is. I can't believe I thought it was the wrong week. I feel so rude, I missed another appointment. And now my email isn't working so I can't email her. God is taking a shit on me. Oh wait, there is no god. But anyway, this is the last straw with this damn medication, I mean I've been trying to ignore the recent increase in forgetfulness and word retreaval problems, but when it starts costing me money that becomes an issue. This medication is fucking expensive as all hell in the first place, and now an extra...whatever it costs for a missed therapy session, I mean damn!! So screw this shit, *in an announcer voice* Elvis has left the building.
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