Date: Jun. 06, 2002 Time: 12:39 AM My current mood is: Entry 2 of the night Ok so here's the plan- I'm going on a fast. I decided this after my dad AGAIN yelled at me for food. He yelled at me cause when I went food shopping the other day I bought I bought cookie dough, he said I shouldn't be buying food for myself. He's right. NO MORE EATING! I mean you can only get yelled at for eating so many times before you just have to go on a fast, I mean seriously! I need to stop throwing up anyway, it makes me look like I eat tons and it's just a pain in the ass. I will go back to restricting. I need to get to 90lbs, and this time I'm serious. Usually I just go to 95lbs then maintain because people start making too many comments and getting worried, etc., so I don't want to upset anyone. But all this getting yelled at for eating....they've(dad and sister) made it clear that they don't WANT me to eat, so fuck them! If they think 90lbs is too thin, then you know what they can kiss my ass. Not that they would even bother to notice anyway. At 90lbs my BMI would be 16.5, at 95lbs it is 17.4. I think I gained 5lbs though, which would make my BMI 18.3, aaahhhhh!!!! Ok, scared myself...I'll have to weigh myself once I'm brave enough. I'm obsessed with BMIs! This is a site for it if you feel like checking yours: Nutri-facts. One thing about this site is that it says "18-19 Underweight", so like, under 18 and you're invisible? LOL. I mean they could at least say that the BMI for anorexia is 17.5, please people, get with the program. And can I just state that I think that's a bunch of horse shit, needing a certain weight to be considered anorexic??? What the fuck is that??? There are PLENTY of people who are overweight, normal weight, and slightly underweight who starve themselves and are afraid of food and fat, I don't think the weight of your body should distinguish your mental disorder! Then again, I think all of the eating disorder section in the DSM is fucking moronic. It doesn't even include Binge Eating or Compulsive Overeating! (talking to the writers of the DSM:)I mean come on, lets get it together here you guys, you are psychiatrists with degrees from med school. Do I really need to tell ya this stuff?? I mean what is this shit with amenorrhea anyway? In order for someone to have anorexia they have to not get their period for 3 months? what's that about? That's a SYMPTOM! God! Can't even get the symptoms from the criteria right. Geez. And with Bulimia, you have to do it twice a week to be considered bulimic? What if you purge once a week, you're normal?? See, THIS is why I want to become a therapist, no not to change the DSM(although I'd like to), it's because there's so many fuckin retards in the psych. world, I *know* I could do a much better job. Yes, that sounds egotistical, but trust me, I've been to enough psychs to know. And Joyce(my therapist) if you're reading this entry, I'm not talking about you of course! Hehe, just wanted to make sure you know that. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: