Date: Jun. 05, 2002
Time: 5:56 AM
My current mood is:
How many? I don't know.
Today I finally saw my psychiatrist. I think he thinks I'm a total fruitloop or something, hehe. Whenever I say anything to him he's like "Hmmm...riiiight..." and is then silent. My next drug of choice will be Topamax, a mood stabilizer. Never been on one of them before, that's more for manic depression but he said he's had some success using it for "people like you"...whatever THAT means!! I'm kinda iffy on it though, he said one side effect is temporary BLINDNESS!!! Jesus Christ, can you imagine waking up one day and being blind randomly? Another side effect is kidney stones, which I hear are VERY painful. He said that I need to drink lots of water while on these meds so that I don't get them. Ya, only thing is, I'm frequently dehydrated whether it be from purging, purposly dehydrating myself(yes, I like to hurt myself in as many ways as possible) or just cause I often forget to drink. Pretty much at any given moment I'm most likely at the very least minorly dehydrated. I don't know if I'm the "right" person for this medication. One good thing is that it causes weight loss, yippy!! Fuck, it's about 6am, I should go to sleep now. Tonight I went out to a bar with Hilary, they played lots of ska music. I purged so many times today/tonight that I lost count. I really have no idea how many times.
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