Date: Jun. 04, 2002 Time: 10:37 AM My current mood is: Hangin in the ghetto Judyg wanted to know if I read my guestbook entries, the answer is yes :) Thanks to everyone who's signed it, sometimes I plan on thanking people in my diary but then I forget cause I'm an airhead! You guys rock :) She also wanted to know what I thought about the book Film-grrl said I should read, "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolf(geez I advertising everyone today aren't I?). I've never read it, but by the title I'm assuming it's about how the culture/media pushes the idea of thinness onto women(also I just looked it up, it is about that). I actually just read a book a little while ago that sounds very similar, damn what's the name..Unbearable Weight. I do agree that the media pushes insane messeges onto women, how we should be perfect, hairless, thin, and basicly look like we just stepped out of a salon every second of the day. Being someone who considers myself a feminist, I definitly see this, and it makes me angry, and I think it would be an interesting read. What I dissagree with though, I don't think it would change my views on my body/eating. My issues with food actually don't have anything to do with the media or unrealistic expectations of women. For me, it has more to do with stress, and not being able to deal with major issues. I'm not talking regular stress, I'm talking like, my ED started when my mom got sick with Leukemia. That was a VERY hard thing for me(and everyone else) to deal with, and I just didn't know what to do. So I lost weight. And thus has been the "tradition" ever since....when something happens in my life that I don't know how to deal with, I stop eating(or eat and throw up). Suddenly I "realize" I'm 5,000 pounds. Before I delt with things by not eating, I delt with them by cutting myself. I guess I just never really learned how to deal with things head on. One of these days I'll write out my whole little "story" on it. By the way, I do appreciate the suggestion for the book though, I like to read and actually I'm currently looking for some new books. The only thing I have left to read right now is the Bible. I think I've read half of it, I've actually never read it before so I figured I should know about Jesus and stuff. So far I've come to the conclusion that I don't like Jesus, he seems like he was an asshole. I'm not dissin' anyone for liking him, that's just my opinion. Last night Katie and I hung out in Dorchester(the ghetto). We went to 3 different bars and got totally shitted. The last bar was the best, all the guys were totally hitting on us all night, buying us drink after drink all night! I mean they were totally gross, one guy was in his 60's, but they were funny. Some guy walked in bloodied up, he got into a fight outside. Oh my god I just spilled pickle juice down my shirt. That's SO nasty. Anyway. Kate and Mike(her roommate) are being evicted from their appartment unfortunatly. Sometimes she complains about living there(hearing police sirens all night, people getting killed/raped, can't go out at night alone, drunk people sprawled out on the street, etc.), but all in all she likes it and doesn't want to move back home. The problem is that if they get a new place, she probably wouldn't be able to afford it. So she asked if I wanted to move in with them if they got a new place, her and I could share a room and it would be much cheaper. If we found a place for $1,000 a month it would only be like almost $350 each, not bad. I began to wonder though, would it be harder to watch my weight? Or easier? Living at home I can binge and purge all day long, or not eat at all, and no one notices, but living with 2 other people in a small apartment that might be tough. We'll see what happens. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: