Date: Mar. 25, 2002 Time: 2:02 AM My current mood is: The Urge Ok this is not cool, I've been getting mad urges to purge. It has nothing to do with binging or food at all, like right now I feel like puking yet I haven't eaten since 8pm. I just feel like puking and puking, it's stemming from this awful feeling inside of me. I just want to purge the feeling away. I really almost did tonight, I would of but when we were out to eat, my family took so long that it was too late for me to do anything about it, I had to go straight to a meeting at work. I know this is bad, I swore to myself I would never puke again and that I would kill myself if I did that. What to do??? I know if I did it "just once", it would turn into doing it multiple times a day everyday, consuming my life. I couldn't stand that. But I feel like I need to, I know logically purging won't actually take the feelings out of me, so why am I being illogical? It's weird, everyone around me is so emotional...whenever the subject of my whole dad thing gets brought up, everyone is so angry, so pissed, yet I am not. Why? Why am I so calm and not angry about it? Am I the mature one? Or am I the immature one? It's just odd when I tell my friends about it so matter of fact, very calm and straight faced and they get so upset and angry, you'd think I'd be the one like that. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: