Date: Jan. 04, 2002 Time: 10:31 PM My current mood is: I am a stalker Ok I am now officially a stalker. Well not really, but I feel like one! Since Bud and I had our conversation I've called him twice, no answer and no call back. He has caller ID. So what I did was I used my sisters phone to call him, since he doesn't know that number. Of course he picks up. I said we need to talk about stuff, he said "Well I'm busy right now, but I'll give you a call". HA! Right...like I believe that. Talk about giving me the brush off. All I want is one simple talk, I want the truth. I don't see what's so hard about that. It's not like he has to deal with me begging him to go out again, I have my pride. All I want is one simple talk, and he can't even give that to me. Also, I was thinking...what happened with my love life? It used to be that guys would fall head over heals for me, and be all in love with me and I was the one telling them what to do, having them whipped. Then I would break up with them and they would plead for me to go back out, or I would ask them back and they'd say yes, only for me to dump them again when I felt like it. What happened to that? Now I can't get guys to be whipped, and they all end up leaving me...what changed? I keep trying to think of what I do different now. Hmmmmmm. Maybe I open up more now, emotionally? Maybe I tell too much? I don't know. But I think I did that before too...damnit. I have no idea. I'll have to think about this more, maybe it's just my choice of guys or something? What makes a guy whipped? I used to know, but somewhere along the way I lost it. Also, maybe I just say yet again that I am really pissed that I've been eating and eating SO MUCH! This is rediculous! I've gained weight, don't know how much, but I have to stop it soon before I get huge! I'm assuming I'm about 100lbs, maybe more, to afraid to weigh myself. I NEED to stop this...I need to lose weight, and then I'll show everyone, give everyone a big fuck you from me. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: