Date: Dec. 26, 2001 Time: 7:39 PM My current mood is: Ruined day I feel sick right now, I just came back from going out to eat with my dad, sister and their friends. Of course the appropriate bulimia jokes were made to my sister, as always. Haha, so funny. All kinds of things were said that made me want to crawl under a rock and die, but I don't really feel like getting into it all over again. Today sucked. I woke up, and ate breakfast. First mistake of the day. I had written a list of things to do, one of which was to NOT eat! So once I had eaten, I realized that the rest of the day was bullshit, and had no worth to me. There was no point to the rest of the day because I had eaten, it had all been ruined, so I lied in bed for hours wishing I was gone from the world until my dad bugged me to make him cds. After making his lame ass cds, I made some for myself: My Ruin, Skinny Puppy, and Assemblage 23. Yay, at least this day wasn't a total waste. I still have this damn headache that I have had for days now, perhaps I am dehydrated? I still have all this stuff to do, and I just want to either sit here or lie in bed. I also decided that I am going to break up with Bud. I still havent heard from him, tomorrow it will be a week since we've hung out/he's called me. It sucks, cause I feel like I'm invested in this relationship, I've told him so much about myself, let myself hear him say he cares about me. Well apparently it was all a lie. He told me he cared, but if you care about someone you do not just cast them aside like an old used condom. Oh well, everyone leaves in the end anyway. It's just better if you can leave them before they leave you. Even though he's pretty much already left me. "I hate my life I want to die I was just pretending all this time A mask I wear so I don't bare My soul to the cold, harsh world out there Try to prevail but only fail Each time on a grander and grander scale My life is worthless and so am I I hate my life I want to die The epiphany that came to fall Finally helped me reconcile What I felt wasn't joy at all All this time it was just denial" -Bipolar, by Assemblage 23 Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: