Date: Dec. 13, 2001
Time: 8:13 PM
My current mood is:
so much work I shouldn't even be writing this!
I shouldn't be on the computer right now, or at least not writing in here! I'm just so swamped with schoolwork, I need a break. I went to my therapist today, low and behold the docters office gave them my blood tests. I thought they didn't do them or something, but I guess they did and it just took a long ass time. Who knows. They came out ok, only thing was that I am borderline anemic, which I figured already. So just that(plus the ketones in my urine that they told me before). I'm glad I'm borderline anemic, I don't know why, but it satisfies me. That's also probably why I get so tired a lot. I have had much more energy lately, probably a combination of taking vitamins, drinking those protein shakes, and not purging. I'm really glad I haven't purged since Saterday, I hope I never do again! Seriously, it sucks, I'm over it, enough already. So far I've been able to deter every would-be binge that has come my way, I'm so proud of that. Before I just sort of gave up I guess, didn't bother trying to stop purging, I guess I was just so addicted I felt like I couldn't. But I've had enough, all it does is make me depressed, bloated, and utterly exhausted, no way to spend the day. I mean, I can be depressed without purging, why make it even worse?? So ya, my attempt once again to be rid of bulimia, I shall succeed! Yay! Besides that, not much else going on, I talked to Bud for a bit online and got up the nerve to tell him I was still not over the fight we had, and much to my suprise he said he wasn't either, he felt like we weren't totally made up cause we haven't hung out in so long. My therapist suggested writing him a letter, I want to talk to him face to face about it but perhaps due to both of us being so incredably busy, I will email him my thoughts instead. Maybe I'll write it right now? You know what, I think I will. Oh and by the way, scratch that idea about cheating in Bud, I feel way too guilty of even thinking about it!
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