Date: Dec. 07, 2001 Time: 2:50 PM My current mood is: complaining, complaining, complaining This really sucks. I'm in such a crappy mood, why is everything shit?? Bud and I didn't end up hanging out last night, he didn't even call or write me an email. He doesn't even care that we've barely been able to hang out at all, last night was the only night this week we could have hung out and he didn't even care. Today at radio, they were giving out awards. I was fairly positive I was going to get one, as they always compliment me on doing stuff, and even said I could be in charge of getting cds for Promotions, have my own space in the office and maybe even my own key. I didn't get any awards. They also announced who had new positions for next semester. Nothing. I thought I was doing good? Again I am forgotten about. It just really made me feel bad, I mean I know I shouldn't have expected an award, but I mean they said all that stuff before, so I just figured, I don't know. I'm so stupid. I don't know why I bother thinking I'm good at anything, or that anyone likes me. Life just really sucks right now, I'm in a permanent bad mood it seems. I'm probably going to fail Statistics, I owe 2 tests and there is a third one due on Tuesday that I didn't even get cause I didn't go to the last class. I don't know what I'm going to do, I don't understand the math. My first test I got an +A, what the fuck??? Tomorrow I'm going to just have to spend the whole day making myself understand it, I HAVE to do those tests. And in my psych. class, Monday we are going to be discussing our papers and bring in the interviews we are supposed to have done. I only have one interview, I need 5!! This sucks so much. Bud said I could interview different people in his family that have been adopted, yet he hasn't gotten in touch with any of them. I'm going to just have to make them up or something. I shouldn't have relied on him. Also, I owe my dad all this money! I am so broke, I can't pay him back and he is so pissed. Bud said he would pay 2 of the parking tickets I got, cause it was from parking on his street, yet he said he can't pay them cause he has no money! So now I'm getting late charges on them. I wish he would have just given them to me, cause now it's even more I have to pay, with no money! DAMNIT. I'm behind on everything. My room is a disgusting mess, I just don't have time or energy to clean it. And that's another thing, who does Bud think he is, treating me like shit??? I've spent hundreds of dollars coming up and seeing him, that's right, HUNDREDS! WHAT THE FUCK? And he can't even be bothered to make sure I get there and back safetly?? How fucking rude is that?! What other girl would spend hundreds of dollars on him? Ufff, I know I am complaining a lot, but I'm just so miserable right now. It also sucks to know that someone devoted praticly an entire entry in their diary about how much I suck and how stupid I am. Woohoo. But I'm not even going to get into that. Then there's the usual stuff, like my dad being an asshole to me, telling me I'm a baby, and harassing me about getting my dresser fixed saying I can't do it, treating me like I am a 5 year old retard or something, yelling at me because of the weather since it is obviously my fault it is hot outside. I just want to fucking die. Going from puking 7 times a day to now being on a fast, having one nutrition drink a day to keep me going. I just want to rot away. I'm complaining too much, I should shut up now. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: