Date: Dec. 06, 2001
Time: 4:11 PM
My current mood is:
Fuck Bud, and fuck me.
Ok what the fuck??? I just got into a fight with Bud online. He's being such an asshole to me. I asked him what time he wanted to meet me at the trainstation, and he said he didn't wnat to meet me why don't i just walk to his apartment myself. So I was like "you don't even want to meet me?". I don't know, I mean I think it would be nice for him to meet me at the station, I know he doesn't live all that far away from it but still, he doesn't even care about me walking through Boston alone at night? I'm not a wuse or anything, don't get me wrong. It's not that I'm scared, it's just the fact that it would be nice to be cared about. I know this sounds fucking stupid. So anyway, we got into a fight and he told me to stop being childish, so I said fine I you won't have to deal with me being childish, so I just ignored all his IM's. Then he IM'd me saying I ruined his day. FUCK YOU! I don't even know what my problem is, I just mood-wise don't feel very stable lately. Maybe I am just being childish. I can't help it though, I just feel like he hates me. And now he probably really does hate me. I was going to have a nutrition drink today, my only intake of the day, but now I can't even bring myself to have that. I hate myself I don't deserve to have anythihg.
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