Date: Oct. 26, 2001 Time: 12:00 AM My current mood is: alone Damnit, I'm so disappointed in myself. I binged and purged 3 times today, so much for trying to lose weight! Actually for the past few days I've been eating so much, I probably gained back all the weight I've lost. I really hope tomorrow I can stop this cycle. I went to my psych today, for the first time in 2 months. I'm back on the Zoloft, I can't wait for it to take effect! I just hope it lasts long enough till the end of the semester, that way I can stop taking it, then start again next semester. Hopefully if I do it that way, it will make it work better, instead of it just wearing off. Last night I went to see my grandfather and aunt. It makes me sad how he has absolutly zero respect for her, his own daughter. He truely thinks of her as sub-human, it's awful. The minute she leaves the room, he makes a comment about how stupid she is, or how much he dislikes her, or what a mistake he's made letting her live there. As much as I dislike my aunt, it makes me feel so bad for her, cause no one deserves to be talked to the way he talks to her. Today I was so bored and lonely, it sucked. I just sort of wandered around the house, not knowing what to do. I mean there were a million things I could be doing, but I didn't want to do any of them. I just wanted to be with someone, anyone. But everyone was busy or not home. Maybe I shouldn't say everyone, more like I called a few people then gave up. I really wanted to hang with Bud, but he was busy. So I just watched tv, and read my Death comic. It's about a girl who is Death incarnate. Still gotta finish Johnny the maniac, or whatever it's called, what Bud lent me. He's SO obsessed with comics, it's not even funny. I wish I could get rid of this overwhelming feeling of being alone. I wish I had a family I could feel good about talking to, like hang out with them or something. But in my house, there isn't much to say to one another. We don't really have conversations. My dad barks orders at me, while my sister and I try to avoid him as much as possible. I think some people have actual relationships with their family. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: