Date: Aug. 28, 2001 Time: 1:13 AM My current mood is: gettin jiggy with Bud Today I hung out with Bud. We went around Boston and stuff, and I bought some cool shit. And we had sex for the first time. It was totally spur of the moment, I hadn't even planned on sleeping with him any time soon. We were making out and he was just like "want to?". It kind of sucks cause I'm still haveing sexual problems, even worse then when I was on the Zoloft. This Effexor shit sucks man, since I've been on it I haven't *had one* at all!!! But anyway, I felt kind of regretful afterwards, I think I shouldn't of had sex with him. I mean I'm not even sure how much I'm still into him. I was thinking all today, about how I don't really feel like I have deep feelings for him. Maybe it just takes time or something, but I don't know, I mean he's a nice guy and all but for some reason lately the spark has died. I mean he still seems totally into me. I hope I fall for him, I mean I would feel like a total bitch breaking up with him, especially since there is no real reason to. Well, whatever, I'll just have to ride it out and see what happens. I was so pissed off at my dad tonight. He called up Bud when I was there, cause he thought I didn't know when the trains were coming. Ok first of all, I'm not retarded, nor am I 5 years old! He thought I would go into boston having no idea how to get back....ya, I'm really that airheaded. I swear, he always thinks I'm so stupid. But the main thing is that I never gave him Bud's number! I don't know how he got it! He must have gone into my room and through my stuff to get it. I asked him how he got it and he said he looked it up in the phone book, which is total bullshit cause that is a cell phone, which is NOT in the phone book! He's such a liar, I can't stand it! I yelled at him about it, and he wouldn't admit he lied, and he was like "oh maybe I didn't get it in the phone book, I thought I did". Fuck that! I absolutely hate not having privacy, I feel like he's invading my life by doing that. Basicly he went behind my back to get Bud's number, which is wicked rude. And I'm 22 years old, I don't need him calling around for me! He treats me.....uuhhhgggg!! I just hate when people treat me like that. I want to put a lock on my door. I want to move out. But of course, my dad won't let me move out. Fucking asshole. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: