Date: 2001-08-16
Time: 9:56 a.m.
My current mood is:
I am such a cow
I'm feeling so dead inside. I just ate one of those big pastrys and purged it. God I'm so gross, I ate 2 yesterday and one this morning! I feel so tired now, purging always wears me out. I was thinking how I feel like I want help, but then I thought well I'm not bad enough to deserve help. It's not that big a deal, I mean people do it for years and years, so why am I complaining? I'm such a wuse. I'm not going to eat anything else for the rest of the day(hopefully!!). I even took diet pills yesterday, which I haven't taken in awhile, but they didn't work :( I wish there was something I could do, to feel satisfied. I feel like I'm always struggling with food and weight, I wish I could just be thin and be able to easily diet, and not beat myself up for it all so much. It seems like no matter what I do, I'm always so pissed off at myself. My stomach is so fat and gross, I look like a blimp. I'm going to go exercise now.
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