Date: 2001-07-03 Time: 10:36 a.m. My current mood is: I'm over John I've been feeling so alone and bored lately. I think cause from not having a job, I'm just sitting at home everyday. Or maybe cause I'm a dork who has no life...most likely it. Yesterday I just felt so lonely. My sister had friends over all day, and I had no one. I just wandered around the house, binging, cause I had nothing better to do. I just wanted to kill myself, I felt like such a loser. Then later on me and Jim went to Julie and Dave's apartment and hung out. I had a lot of fun hanging out with Jim :) The second he came to my house, I got all hyper! It was fun. Sometimes when we hang out, Jim seems not all...I dunno, just like he's not having much fun, or he's tired or something. But we had fun this time, and I wondered what would happen if I kissed him, but I didn't. You know, I think I'm over John now. Ever since I wrote him that email telling my feelings with the poem in it, I feel like a weight has been lifted. Yesterday I was listening to some sad love songs, and I realized that they made me sad, not cause they made me think of John, but just sad cause the song was sad. Ever since John left, whenever I listen to sad love songs I think of him...I guess not anymore though! I feel much better. I wish he would reply to my email though, it kinda pissed me off that he hasn't yet, he said he just hasn't gotten around to reading it and emailing me back yet. Maybe I don't want him to email me back...would that ruin it? If he wrote back saying how he cared about me and blah blah blah, would that make me fall for him all over again? Or if he said nothing, then what? Maybe I will email him saying not to email me back on that one. I do feel much better though, I'm over him! Yay! It's almost like it happened all at once, right after I wrote him that email, how weird. When I wrote it, it brought tears to my eyes, just getting my emotions out was cathartic I guess. Well, it's almost 11am, and already I've eaten 9 cookies, a small bag of Doritos, and a rice crispies treat. I need to stop already!!! Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: